Friday, October 22, 2010

Case filed

This morning the discussion was coming to the last round. Till now the case had five favouring the decision to have a legal settlement while three others just wanted to wrap the affair. The main hurdle of the whole proceeding is that harm has been caused to a baby just seven months old.

For you innocent folks let me take you through some scenes
1. Young family flies in from USA for a wedding in family. The baby is eagerly awaited as none have seen him yet face to face.
2. The house wore a new coat of paint, the yard was cleaned, the sitout retiled and so on.
3. The boy’s family are let minimum time to hold baby (kissing not allowed ) before wife and kid proceed to her house as it is her brother who is marrying soon.
4. Mum in law and pop in law are pissed off when son too leaves by evening
5. Ten more days to wedding. Many ceremonies before that.
6. Boy’s parents are not good at the traditions and draw amused glances from everyone as they do some silly mistakes. Boy is worried that they are not performing well enough.
7. Pop in law starts acting funny starting a cold war with son. Son vents anger on mom. Mom hates daughter in law for that and DIL has no love for anyone except the baby.
8. Wedding day. Mum and pop in law act as if they are just another couple invited and not partake in ceremonies on the stage. Girl is happy as she gets to meet her friends and relatives after long break. Boy is happy and unhappy at same time but poses for photos. Baby changes hands and finally is left with an eight year old as others are too busy.
9. Baby is found sitting on a chair with some kids playing nearby. Baby has a well chewed bubblegum in his hair, all matted.
10. Pandemonium.
11. Everyone points finger to other for not being responsible. Baby’s head is washed many times but gum sticks on.
12. Baby develops cold and fever in subsequent days and is hospitalized. Son is worried whether they can manage a clearance to fly back.
13. The rift in family widens.
14. The neighbours click their tongues at the situation. They try to be helpful by asking more questions.

By noon, the decision is out. The culprit – Bubblegum makers. The verdict- the neighbours abstain from gum eating for a week

Meanwhile the plane with baby touches down on American soil.

Monday, October 11, 2010

LLCS(Losers Low Confidence Syndrome)

I don’t know whether any other nation has this disease. About 40% of Indians are afflicted by this disease. Even if they are happy that the country is winning some medals at some International games like CWG, they can’t show their happiness. They will make such comments as “Thanks to Kalmadi, we scared the better sportspersons so that we can win some medals”.

The disease afflicts a lot of prominent mediapersons too. They don’t seem to be happy at all. Charu Sharma on DD Sports was commenting, “Saare medal thodhi na lene hai. Doosare desh bhi aaye hain”. That’s real good spirit booster. Let others take the medals and we just compete seems to be his mantra.

Barkha Dutt was asking someone for his opinion on the Ayodhya verdict and she phrased the question, “How has this verdict disappointed you?” The likes of her won’t let the nation move on.

I hope someone finds some medicine soon for this dangerous disease.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


Dear blogger friends. It has been very busy for me as I try to balance between work and home. So, haven't been able to write anything new. Posting comments on other blogs has been poor. Please bear for some more days:)
Meanwhile, read the rehashed post and laugh

The Indian summer: it affects different people in different ways. Let us examine the case at hand.

A small village in central Kerala is the stage. After a sumptuous lunch, the household has settled down for a siesta. And thanks, to loadshedding, getting a wink was proving to be difficult. But our braveheart family did not give in. People took to the bare floor where it was cooler. The atmosphere was quiet. Even the cows were not mooing.

Kerala as you might know is a 100% literate state and publishes many magazines, newspapers, weeklies etc for its voracious reading population. These editors are real mavericks for they come up with all kinds of useful information for its readers- for eg: How to make Sambar- a dish which everyone in south India knows to make, How to make your child eat, Why did Cuba have problems, Ask the psychologist column, Weekly horoscope, The story of couples who opted for love marriages etc.

Our heroine had one such useful magazine to help her to go to sleep. She was feeling drowsy when she came upon the page – Cats too can go mad. As the household had couple of cats, she was hooked. Her eyes grew wider as she read on.

She nudged her husband who was snoring away, “Did you know that cats can go mad?”.
“No.” Said he and rolled over to the other side.
But she was not letting him go with that, “Look, I am not joking. It says so here. And they have listed the symptoms too…”
“1. The cat prefers a shaded place.
2. It doesn’t react quickly when provoked.
3. Once Provoked…” Before she could continue, he took the magazine from her.
She protested and then gave in saying, “OK. Read for yourself. Anyway, it’s almost time to make tea. I will just refresh myself”. And she went into the adjoining bathroom.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh” She came out screaming and was now standing on the bed.
“ What’s the matter? Why are you screaming?”
“ It’s the cat. It’s in there”
“It’s mad”
“Who, our Sati? No joking”
“No, It’s true. It’s in there”
“OK, Let me see”
He tiptoed to the bathroom. And there was Sati lying in one corner of the huge bathroom. He tiptoed out and went to the terrace where the arecanuts were spread to dry in the Sun. He picked an handful and came back and started to pelt the cat.

At the first pelt, she did not bother. By the fourth, she opened a questioning eye. She didn’t like to be disturbed thus. She was in no mood to play. By the tenth, she heaved herself up and padded to the other corner and settled down again to continue her disturbed sleep. But this was not her day! The pelting continued.

Now she had it. She got up and stood in the classic arched pose, flashing her teeth. Her hair was standing on its end. She looked ferocious. She was a big cat and a black one at that.

However, she could not quite understand this sudden change in behaviour of her masters. They loved her and she loved them too. And she had been a good cat. That morning too, she had curled at the foot of the bed and crooned appropriately when cuddled. At breakfast, she had eaten the crumbs and purred gratefully. And she had not stolen a thing from the kitchen, except the neighbour’s. Her mom had taught her not to steal from the house where she chose to live. Then, what was the problem, wondered Sati. Maybe it was the mouse she had failed to catch, but that should not be a problem, Sati thought. Anyway, she continued to snarl and keep the pelters at a distance.

By then, the couple was sure that the cat was mad. Now the husband brought in a pole to poke the poor cat. Meanwhile, the commotion had woken everyone and all of them made a beeline for the room where the action was.

The Lady of the house, my aunt, went in first. Upon being enlightened by the state of affairs by her daughter, who was still standing on the bed, she exclaimed, “Oh! Shut up. Don’t be so stupid to believe in that nonsense. It is a hot afternoon and the poor cat has simply found itself a cool place to nap”. But her daughter and son-in-law differed. As aunt tried to go into the bathroom, they tried to save her from imminent calamity. She shoved them aside and went in and called the cat lovingly. She approached it slowly and the cat calmed down a bit. She picked it up and came out.

“Look”, said aunt. But there was no one in the room. The daughter had gone to a safer place- on top of the dining table. The son-in-law peeped from the kitchen.

“Ha ha haHo Ho”, aunt burst out laughing and added, “We don’t have a mad cat in the family, but two madcaps who think that cats can’t climb on to the dining table”.

A trail of laughter followed.