Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A risky job

Come vacations and one team is working overtime – the thieves in the neighbourhood. Their work has to be meticulously planned taking in so many factors – when the wife and kids of a house go visiting relatives, when the guy hangs out late celebrating, when the old couple are leaving for pilgrimage, which guests have to go to church on wedding eve etc etc. But as it is, sometimes calculations don’t work and sometimes its too easy to be called a risky job. Here are few real instances. Read them to have a ringside view of things.

  1. Broad Daylight – Mr. Warrier is seated in living room with the door wide open. Thief walks in and walks out with brand new music system. Stammering Warrier tries to shout but could manage only de, de, wh, wha, hey, hey….
  2. In dead of night, the women of the house hear a loud thud in kitchen. Cautiously, they venture to check out. They switch the lights on. A guy is lying face down. He is dead.
  3. The owner of the house arrives in the wee hours of morning, called to duty early on. He finds two guys who have packed almost anything valuable and are sleeping like babies beside the loot. As they get socked, one thief manages, “ Par, sahib. Aap to raat waali gaadi se aane wale the”( But sir, you were to come by the night train)
  4. A proud father of five grown up sons was always laughing at the stories of local burgularies and said,” None would dare to burgle my house”. And his house was burgled soon- seems that each lazy son thought it was one of family making noise and didn’t care to check out.
  5. The petty thief had jumped into the courtyard to pick some things lying around and was stunned by the scene of the young girl taking an open air bath in the moonlit yard. She sees him after a while and pours water on him, but the poor guy is totally lost and recovers only after she disappears from scene.
  6. The thief gets into house being constructed( in finishing stages). While he is in, the owner comes to show the work progress to friends. He tries getting out through the exhaust hole in kitchen and gets stuck.
  7. A new sofa set was taken off by pair of enterprising thieves from a housing complex. They signed at the entrance and told the security that the sofa set had to be changed as wrong colour was delivered.
  8. A solitary lean old fellow manages to scare of a couple of thieves as he charges towards them- the dhoti fast leaving him.


  1. This is skill! Compiling all funny burglary incidents in a post and making the reader laugh. Laugh riot :D

  2. hahahaha.. :D Awesome! Did the makers of "Oye lucky lucky oye" steal ideas from you? :)
    Lovely compilation! :))

  3. Hilarious!!

    U pulled d dhoti out of theft and people who think they are immune to thefts!!

  4. Different ways to steal...Hilarious. Thieves must read this Lama. They would as well polish their skills :-P

  5. He he he he Hilarious..
    But now that the thieves too might read this maybe next time we will find more hilarious skills mentioned :)

  6. :) Do I laugh? Honestly!! He he...Never thought I will laugh at a write up on thieves...:)

  7. lolzzz I hope none of this happen with me :D these thieves are becoming clever day by day :D

  8. Thieves,petty, amateur or professional, are finding newer ways to whisk things way from right under our nose, that too in broad daylight. This post is a gentle reminder for us to stay on guard. btw, I'm still laughing, 1 to 8!

  9. Destiny's Child
    Thank You for the nice compliment

    Have to see the movie to sue them

    Jaunty Anima
    He heh

    Let's start an Institute and name it All India Institute of Thieving Technology

    Let everyone prosper, even the thieves

    There is always a first time:)

    Let's hope so.

    On Your Guard... aye aye captain.

  10. mm..thieves own country!! :)

  11. hahahahaha..you always make us laugh our guts out! :D

  12. K.B
    Yep. All Kinds. Maybe we should declare it as a endangered biosphere with newer surveillance techniques.

    Nazish Rahman
    Maybe, I can aim for a PhD on the subject:)

    Bringing smiles is holiest aim.

    K Parthasarathi
    Glad to be entertaining

  13. They are very funny..if you can write about thieves you can become a better thief..simply because you know the psychology of them..like agatha christie once wrote..thieving is easy!

  14. lolz...definitely...do try ehehehe!!!

  15. Tomz
    Not now. Iam better employed.:)

    Nazish Rahman
    Jo Hukm

  16. One of the most original and interesting idea for a post,i have never come across a magazine featuring a special issue on CHOR-DAKU..thanks for the laughs.

    I have my favorites here...no 3 and 6.

    Happy weekend H.L.!!

  17. Hi
    I entered thro' Unseen Rajasthan. Find your post interesting. Some facts are funny others hilarious.
    You r welcome to my blog.
    Ram (Coimbatore)

  18. Hmmm .....
    I am now worried abt my mom who lives alone!!

  19. Poor thieves and the occupational hazards they have to face!!...loved your earlier post to. Yes, Nature is the greatest leveller. Lovely blog! Intend to stay here. Why dont you visit mine and link to yours?

  20. Unseen Rajasthan
    At your service for laughs:D

    Thank You for the praise. And the lama had a nice weekend.:)

    R. Ramakrishnan
    Welcome to this space. And will visit you soon.

    Scarlet Pimpernel
    Don't worry. Only what has to happen will happen. She'll be fine.

    Neena Sharma
    Maybe you highlight their plight in your weekly:)

  21. :D
    how do you think such stuff! brilliance :)

  22. Sorcerer
    Thank You

    May you too glow in my radiance:D