Monday, January 18, 2010

Mission 22

Mission: Shopping for a badminton racquet and partywear for the family
Time: to reach the shopping district by 7p.m
Hurdle: choc-a-bloc traffic at Christmas time
Distance to be covered: 8 kms
Vehicle: Verna
Team: Whole family- Parents, hubby, two kids and self
Weapons: Speed, Debit card

Unexpected problem: At 6.00p.m. No one is dressed. Kids have gone out to play. Father has gone for bhajan. Mother is complaining and no sign of Hubby.

Booom. The short temper is let loose. Lessons for mother to get the boys ready in time are dished out. Have a shower, change, go searching for boys. One found in the park nearby, another in the ground about 250 m away. Send them home back on the cycle, ask them to shower and dress as quickly as possible. I walk back to find elder wait for the lemonade to refresh him. Grandma is making it for him.
“You shameless fool. Didn’t I ask you to be ready at Do you want to go?”
“But… lemonade. Have to rest after play”
“How long did you play - half an hour? Scoot and take a shower”
“Now, where’s your dad?”
“Upstairs, getting ready’, volunteers mum.
“And my dad? Why did he have to go for the bhajan today?”
“ It’s OK. He will join us in the town”
“ OK . Call him”
“ I don’t know the number.”
“ You find yourself. It’s a shame you don’t know his number after all these years”

Mum puts on her specs and searches in the phonebook and she is unable to locate it for full 10 minutes. My last ounce of patience is disappearing fast.

We set out on Mission 22. Hubby dear sets the traffic laws. Overtake from left, almost kill the pedestrian, set rocket scientist to shame with precision driving ( read missing the buses and trucks by a micro millimeter). Thank goodness many buses have Gods images plastered on the rear side. So we sent our silent prayers to St. Antony, Jesus Christ, Lord Shiva, Ganesha, Sree Krishna, Virgin Mary and Allah as represented in the words from Quran. And some of them were in office and doing their jobs properly. We reached town in one piece with no dents.

Target 1: Sports goods store
Difficulty: On Main Road. No Parking space

Another rule made. Park in No Parking zone. Reason. No cops seen.
Enter shop. Elder son, boozy, starts selecting.
“Rush,” I say
“Yonex, is the preferred one,” says shop assistant
“OK . Buy Yonex. ”
“Ashwin has Ashway. His mom is a State player”
“Do you have Ashway? ”
“Yes. Two qualities – lower end and highest end. ”
“Show lower end”
A not so inspiring piece is shown
“Buy Yonex”
“Be fast. The clothes shop will close. ”
He inspects both.
“Take yonex”
“OK”, he agrees with a face that’s already changing.

I look around for hubby. Nowhere to be seen.
I pay by debit card and…
Son to shop assistant, “Can I have a complete cover for the racquet?”
“ This model comes with cover for the top portion only”

Dissatisfied, he walks out of shop with the Yonex racquet.
Don’t make a long face now. Now you have a new racquet, play well and win some championships. ”
“What? With this bat?”
“Why not? Try.”

Find hubby on pavement outside with parents. Dad had walked about 1 km to reach us, looks land smells like just out of a workout. I shake my head. And we rush to the garment store. One saree and one dress for younger fellow, bumbum selected and the elder son still has long face.

“Now what? Why are sitting there with that expression?”
“I want Ashway.”
“OK. Go and change it then. Take your dad along.”
Both leave. Two minutes later, phone rings.

“Is the key there on the chair where I was? ”, asks hubby
“What, Iam now on second floor? You lost the key? Why do you need it? ”
“The racquet is in the boot.”
“Splendid. Let me get to the third floor.”
Just one flight of steps. I huff and puff up. Ask parents to stay on second floor and leave bumbum with them. Phone rings.
“Its Ok. I have it.”
Two minutes later, another call
“Why did you pay with card? They have a problem.”
“Stay there. I’m coming.”

At shop, roly poly manager is noncooperative. Given reason- can’t reverse a card payment. Real Reason- has to return money
“But it’s a debit card, not a credit card.”
“The amount is not yet credited to my account.”
“But its already gone from mine. It will go to yours”
“How can I be sure?”
“Sure? It a debit card. What’ll happen if you never get paid from some credit transaction?”
“I’ll take it up with bank.”

“OK. When will this be credited to your account?”, asks hubby
“In 8 hours”
“Ok give me in writing. I’ll collect it tomorrow.”

Roly poly is shaking in anger. Elder son Boozy’s face is expressionless. He is examining the new racquet. Shop assistant is checking time. He wants to go home.

Roly poly writes and passes it. Long face boozy changes to normal boozy.
“Why don’t you keep some cash in your bag? Using a card for such small payments.”, complains hubby
“Why can’t you be where I am shopping? Just stop playing chauffer. You drive us to town and disappear at shop. Stay with the family. Always interested in phone calls.”

And it goes on….


  1. Finally! After all that coaxing, you finally wrote it. And what a happening evening. I can't help laughing at the way spoke about Bumbum and Boozy as specimens : 'One found in the park nearby, another in the ground about 250 m away' :D
    You must consider Karthik's request for 'The chronicles of Bumbum and Boozy'!

  2. Lol!! What an evening it was for you....An ordeal!! but you managed it :-)

    Hahahaha..hilarious..but I can understand what you should have gone through :-) But its fun!!

  3. Wow.. I bet if a bollywood producer reads this a MOVIE is in the making here ... what could be the title .. hmm .. aah well thats for others to think...

    Look at it this way you finally managed ot sort out everything .. Loved reading it .. Can i say hilarious or will you give me THAT look if i say it .. :)

    So did the kids like the raquetsssss...

  4. I am going to go ahead and say I was pleased to read this. I now know that the world is not out to get me alone.... he he...Finally settled for Yonex? We have 2 of those in the closet somewhere....The Post is Nostalgia for me especially the "why don't you carry cash" thing...Putting ghee in the fire? :)

  5. next time, go with chauffeur for shopping..he will at least help u lift the bags..or leave hubby's phone at home..

    how amazing it is that every person is an individual, but yet all men are the same!

  6. I prefer to do the shopping is less stressful.
    And the husband and cellphones can be a separate post, I swear. At times i am sure the blasted thing has become a part of his ear.

  7. Splendid :) had fun reading the post, my eyes were running with your!
    Quite an eventful evening I'd say :)

  8. Destiny's child
    There. I'm a good lama, listened to you:)

    That's the norm not the exception. Most evenings out end on that note

    Life tests you every step, evenat the sports goods store

    Oh! True. Hubbies show up to make such enlightening comments.

    Husbands or Chauffeurs. Shakespeare would have written a play.

    Human are evolving . Maybe the Gods will create men with cell phones attached like Karna and golden ear lobes

    A new beginning
    Aaansoo pocho. kush ho jaao.:D

  9. Need I say more? It was damn funny. I was more interested in knowing about the children getting the right racquets, by the way. You didn't finish it. :-(
    Loved it.

  10. Me too ! I was interested in the racquets more.
    A very nice post which warns all happy bachelors "stay single" .

  11. :):) ..loved the description of precision driving:) very enjoyable have got a way..keep posting like this.

  12. You anyway managed to put all that in writing.
    Good to read such nice and clean posts.

  13. " my choice of the blog's name is a hint "
    I am at my wits end ...pray throw some light

  14. Karthik
    Oh! He bought the Ashway racquet.

    Scarlet pimpernel
    The lama loves mystic and wishes to be wise. I have revealed much in the post.

    Jo hukm , mere aaka.:)

    BK Chowla
    Thank You for the nice comment.

  15. Wow!That must be an evening!!!
    Enjoyed every bit of the post..:)

  16. Chaos..!! :D

    Enjoyable one, interesting read :) :)

  17. Your description of the precision driving was hilarious, and it kept the story--and your mounting frustration--moving at a furious pace. Great story!

  18. Sorcerer
    Glad you liked it

    Jaunty anima
    you bet

    You nailed it. Chaos , it was

    As you might know, in India, its right hand drive and overtaking allowed is from right. So, you know what I was talking about.

  19. lol! Such racquet over a racquet! Congratulations on completing the mission successfully! :-)

  20. Mission 22...perfect title!!!What an exciting racquet-hunt.

    Happy New Year and Sankranti to you Holy Lama.

  21. Novice writer
    Where ther is will, there is a way ( sometimes with twists and turns):)

    Where were you? Been a long time, no posts in my room too and Thank You for the wishes.

  22. wonderfully narrated post :) was grinning throughout. But you must have felt otherwise while experiencing it :P
    the grumpy shopkeepers piss me off always. thats why I hate shopping :D

  23. splendid!! just laughed out loud at your hubby and the phone calls. I love to shop alone or with girl friends, the husbands are of no use at all in shops, apart from arting home the load..

  24. Glad u got urself to write your li'l "family outing" experience. And I must say, I enjoyed reading it. Furious, funny,fast paced...funderful!

  25. Shruthi
    Come on, be a brave girl. Go shopping today!

    Bosom friend in distress. You know the trouble of shopping with hubbies.

    Replying from Mars. Your comment sent me there

  26. Try script writing..(perhaps you already might be doing)..coz while reading the post I imagined it as scenes from some Latin American films which I see from Film Festivals..

  27. hahah.. you surely have a way with story writing. hav read a few of your other posts too. nice..

  28. Tomz
    Hmmm... Maybe, I'll try. Just let me know if you come across a requirement.

    Good to see you here again. Been a long time. And Thanks for the nice comment.

  29. oh..rough day! But vaguely familiar. We all have such shopping sprees dont we, only the roles change. Today i am the kid with demands. In some time , i'll be the mother and then the grandmother..

  30. Gymnast
    You score 9.75 with that comment.:)

  31. good 1...this reminds me of my childhood...I would create so much of commotion around for small things tht mom would become highly impatient :)

    hats off 2 u...u had a great time, dint u?

  32. One which will last a lifetime. Guarantee:)