A hartal day in Kerala

Today is yet another Hartal in God's own country. We have it for many reasons - national, regional and local importance. Today's Hartal is to wake up Union Government to Give green signal to build a new dam over the Periyar river. With Dam 999 movie in theatres, public fear has reached a frenzy, If the 116 yr old Mullaperiyar breaks, the waters will inundate parts of four districts. The waters will move at 100km/hr and reach the biz hub of Cochin in just 4 minutes and wash everything out to sea. A total of 35 lakh people will be killed instantly. So, Keral needs a new dam while TN is happy with the old one which is in kerala but produces power for TN and irrigates its three districts.

So, we have a hartal. No schools, no shops, no buses. People perceive it in different manners.

As my elder son puts it," What a waste . 10 years of studies including 2 years in Kindergarten and you will be killed by floods"

Or take the case of hubby who played good samaritan to a lady waiting for the non coming bus and gives lift. Immediately the guy at the stop too tries to hop in to the rear seat. Hubby," Hey, you. Get in front"

Ride of 3kms. Girl gets off. The car moves and the guy is trying to open door. But the door of the dear car won't budge. He says," Itoo want to get off"

Hubby asks," Where are you going?"
" I just, ah. er..."
" I will drop youat the place"
"Sir, You are taking me to the police , aren't you"
(surprise)
" I'm not that kind of a guy. I'mm good"
Hubby drops him at the next stop.

A risky job

Come vacations and one team is working overtime – the thieves in the neighbourhood. Their work has to be meticulously planned taking in so many factors – when the wife and kids of a house go visiting relatives, when the guy hangs out late celebrating, when the old couple are leaving for pilgrimage, which guests have to go to church on wedding eve etc etc. But as it is, sometimes calculations don’t work and sometimes its too easy to be called a risky job. Here are few real instances. Read them to have a ringside view of things.

1. Broad Daylight – Mr. Warrier is seated in living room with the door wide open. Thief walks in and walks out with brand new music system. Stammering Warrier tries to shout but could manage only de, de, wh, wha, hey, hey….
2. In dead of night, the women of the house hear a loud thud in kitchen. Cautiously, they venture to check out. They switch the lights on. A guy is lying face down. He is dead.
3. The owner of the house arrives in the wee hours of morning, called to duty early on. He finds two guys who have packed almost anything valuable and are sleeping like babies beside the loot. As they get socked, one thief manages, “ Par, sahib. Aap to raat waali gaadi se aane wale the”( But sir, you were to come by the night train)
4. A proud father of five grown up sons was always laughing at the stories of local burgularies and said,” None would dare to burgle my house”. And his house was burgled soon- seems that each lazy son thought it was one of family making noise and didn’t care to check out.
5. The petty thief had jumped into the courtyard to pick some things lying around and was stunned by the scene of the young girl taking an open air bath in the moonlit yard. She sees him after a while and pours water on him, but the poor guy is totally lost and recovers only after she disappears from scene.
6. The thief gets into house being constructed( in finishing stages). While he is in, the owner comes to show the work progress to friends. He tries getting out through the exhaust hole in kitchen and gets stuck.
7. A new sofa set was taken off by pair of enterprising thieves from a housing complex. They signed at the entrance and told the security that the sofa set had to be changed as wrong colour was delivered.
8. A solitary lean old fellow manages to scare of a couple of thieves as he charges towards them- the dhoti fast leaving him.

Girl to Woman

As little girls, they want to grow hair long. Once they grow, they want it short.

As girls, they like coochi cooing and holding babies. Once they become mothers, they want others to hold the baby.

As little girls, they want to wear what mama wears at parties, sarees, ethnic wear and stuff, at teenage they want to wear what brothers wear and finally end up wearing Jeans with ethnic tops.

At teenage, they think “why do these women go to beauty parlours’, by twenties they frequent at least four times a year and by thirties, they go every month.

At 15, always ready to call someone in early thirties aunty, they are shocked when called same at 30.

As girls they join the family to criticize mom’s cooking and when their turn comes start fuming about it. And miss their mom’s cooking.

When young and before marriage, they adjust real well anywhere. Then something just changes. At their parents’ home they are always complaining.

And at 15 most have a beautiful kamar ( a beautiful waistline), by 40 most have it as big as a kamara(room)

And through life, they always say, “Actually Papa/bhaiyya/ mummy/ didi/ boss/senior/woh/ beta/beti told me not to” about things they don’t want to do.