Always leads to another

“A visit to the dentist always leads to another,” friends had warned.
And here I was for my second visit a few days later. As my readers might remember I was sent off on a mission to get my X-rays washed. That mission was accomplished with the help of two cute nurses and the dentist had cleaned and done the first part of RCT that day itself.

So, the next Wednesday, I slipped out of office by 12.30p.m.This time, I knew the procedure. Walk straight to the room and knock. No response. I discover the door is locked. A passing nurse asked me to wait. The dentist had gone for an early lunch.
Twenty minutes later, I see the dentist walking up the stairs.

“Come on in,” she led me into the consulting room and directed me to that chair.
“Where’s the X-ray?”, she asked the nurse. “How may missed calls?”, she continued to the nurse who plugging the doc’s mobile to charge.

“Antony chetan had called”
“Oh no!, Hope he is not coming back today. Such a dumbhead”
“ Another number…”and she read out mine.
“ Mine” , I volunteered.
“ We’ll need the red, yellow and white”
“The white is the last box we have”

The last two exchanges sounded Greek.
Then she put the X-ray on a stand and asked me open up wide.
The she took something that looked like a drill and compared the length of root. She went on yapping away.

“Yesterday it was Ann’s fancy dress competition. She was dressed like Sakuntala and did she act well. She lay down on the stage writing a letter to the king.. And they asked her to clear off because she overstayed in the position. Boy, was she angry that she could not pluck the thorn off her foot. She had rehearsed it so well”. ( Ann was the doc’s little 4yr old and a regular brat)

“ Where did you get the dress from?”, asked the nurse.
“From that lending place near the railway bridge”
“ And where was your husband then?”
“Oh! Him. He had taken mummy to the ayurveda therapist for a chavitti thirumbu(massage by feet on back)”
“Why?”
“ The scooter accident last month”
“Owww” said I
“ What is it- pain or that funny feel”
“ Funny feel”
“It’s OK. Spit”
“Keep the suction ready”
“ Ah. Where was I? Isn’t it funny that you pay some one to get kicks on back?”, she continued”

Knock. Knock
The nurse moved to the door and opened it.
“ Oh1 Antony chetan”
Doc spins around all smiles. “ What is it?”
“ You said you liked the wallpaper on my mobile. I remembered it half way home. Give me your mobile. I will download it for you.”

This conversation helped me immensely. My jaw dropped and it made working inside easier for doc.

Antony chetan downloaded and went back a happy man, having done his duties.
“ What does he do for a living? Seems like having no job other than rushing squirrels up the trees.”, said she returning to wide open mouth.

Dentist: “Just check if that woman is there. I asked her to have lunch and she said she had carrot juice. Hope she hasn’t swooned”

Nurse peeks out and nods affirmatively. And adds,” she is lying down on the bench”

“Hand me the white ones”, and she pushed that thin conical thing into my cavity.
“ Red, yellow, white again.” This went on for a while. Then they switched of the fan.
“ There, now you have a nice broom inside your mouth to keep it clean” And she showed me the inside of mouth in a mirror. And indeed, the whole box of those things were in my mouth.

And now we burn the extra end off and she put on the mask. Fumes came out my mouth. I forgot to breathe. I shut my eyes. My mouth is on fire.

“Now close you mouth. Perfect. Ok. Done”

A visit to the dentist isn’t that bad after all with all that free entertainment.
On my way out, I saw the frail woman on the bench. I knew she will be alright with this doc and nonstop entertainment.

A visit to the dentist

The moment you tell someone that you are going to visit the dentist, you get the classic “You poor thing” type of look. Everyone sympathizes. Even the bravest feel a shudder for the ordeal ahead.

But the ache was a bit too much. So I gathered myself and went to the hospital around 12.30p.m. The nun at the window too had toothache or was in a bad mood.
“Is this the time to turn up for morning OP?”
“But…..”
“We close giving further appointments after 12.30p.m”
“I have real bad ache”, I said trying to look like a whimpering kid.
It worked.
“O.K. Just go upstairs and find out if she is willing see you”

And up I went. The paediatric OP was just across on the same floor. So, there were few kids, some crying and I almost wanted to cry out.

After a while, I knocked at the door. A nurse opened it with a questioning glance. I peeked in and smiled at the doc who was good friend of my dear husband. She was in the process of drilling and she just removed the mask, smiled back and asked to wait.

30 mins passed. The nurse came out with many files and gestured me to get inside. I was the last patient. Crying babies and children too had left.

She was getting ready as I waited on that chair remembering the ‘so sorry’ looks of friends and relatives who sympathized with me.
“What’s up?”
“Toothache. Filling fell off some days ago.”
“Let’s see. Pretty nice history. Two fills, one cap, one tooth missing and now two rotten”
“Two?”
“Yeah, two”
I gave a wan smile.
“We’ll have to take an X-ray”

She clipped the films to a handle and asked me to go the X-ray dept and get it washed as if it was the norm. I blinked. She had turned her back already. So, ‘poor me’ trooped off in search of the X-ray dept. It was a difficult condition. Reasons

• I had a toothache and so had an awful look on face.
• I am not a registered patient so can’t roam around
• The sister I met earlier was at the ‘May I help You” counter.
  (To be continued....)

Boy to Man

As boys they love full length trousers and once grow up, they love Bermudas or shorts

Before they grow moustache they shave everyday and when they have one, they forget to shave.

Before late teens, they find girls weird. By 20s they know only women.

Before they learn to drive, they want to drive cars. After 3 or 4 years, they don’t want to do it anymore. If given chance, they will let someone else to drive.

As boys they always want next size for shirts. And then they go for slimfits.

When are learning to use the bike, they offer to do the local shopping for you, once they get the motorbike they are nowhere to be seen.

In the early twenties, they forget to comb the hair and by late twenties and thirties, they comb it real well as they need to cover gaping spaces.

As boys they listen to mom. As men they listen to wives.

Poor things and they call it a man’s world.

Did you Know?

Change Gender:
Cow x Beef
Dog x Bull Dog

Overheard at Charminar
Oh! They even built a monument to sell cigarettes.

My reckoning of Orkut
Started by a Malayali for nostalgic social networking reason Ormakalude Kootaayama (getogether of memories).

Malayalis contribution to English
Tapioca
The story goes that the Englishman asked the farmer who was digging out the tapioca and “ What are you doing?”
He replied rummaging,”Tappi nokka”(searching)
And soon he showed the tuber and so the tuber was christened Tapioca by the Englishman

Hippopotamus
The malayali servant accompanied the Englishman on an African safari.. They saw the Hippo taking a mud bath. And the Malayali said, “Ippo Pottum”( will burst now)
And the Englishman liked the name, to add effect he added ‘us’.

Cashewnut
The Englishman went to the nut store in Kochi and asked the vendor the rate. The vendor replied “kaashne ettu” ( 8 for a kaash – kaash was the currency then in Kerala). Thus the name Cashewnut.

Tell me about your enlightenment:)

Street17

It was almost 7pm and we were still playing in the dusk. Hours of play made the shuttle cock look bigger.
Growing up in the steel township of Bhilai has given many memories.

We lived on street 33 then. The triple storey building had 18 units. Usually the light at the stairs was not working and a huge tree grew to envelop the dim lamp post which sent down a small beam of light.

“Babli, come home, Datta aunty called out and bring babloo too”
“Coming, ma”, Babli called out. We hurried to wrap the game.
“Babloo, Babloo”, Babli called out.
“You go. I’ll come later.” He was keeping wicket for the match.
“Oh! It’ll be dark soon, There is no light on the stairs. You’ll be afraid”.
Babloo was about 10 and younger to Babli.
“ Oh No. Iam brave. Iam not afraid of the dark,” he piped up.
“OK. Then just cycle down stree 17 and come back by street 19”, said I.
That did it. He went upstairs with his sister.

Everyone was scared of street 17. Even the elders avoided it. I had cycled down it once in broad daylight and it scared me. Street 17 was long and winding. After the first two blocks, there was an open ground on one side and the street took a blind curve after the ground. At night the street light threw down a golden ring of light. But the huge trees with thick foliage almost blocked it. After the blind turn the street again had rows of blocks on either sides. A large banyan tree stood right in middle of the road. Hindu belief and reverence had let it be there. Someone had started pooja at the small hanuman idol placed under the tree. A small lamp burnt there. It also had a chabootara(platform). This tree was the most ominous, for in the nights, a solitary Baba wrapped in a blanket used to sit and sleep here. He looked almost like Rabindranath Tagore. He towered over six feet and had greying long beard and a huge bump on his forehead which gave him a sinister look. I had never seen him speak. He used to be seen around the market are in the evenings. At the paanwaala, he will just stand there. The paanbhai Kashi gave him a benarasi after some time and he will accept it and move away. I was always intrigued by this person but never had any courage to speak to him. My dad’s friend for some reason, used to called him guruji.

When I was fourteen, I went to friend’s place in the nearby sector and it was almost 6 when I returned. A storm was brewing in the horizon. As I did not have a raincoat, I decided to the short cut through street 17 and take a diagonal cut through the ground to reach street 32. A solitary girl on a cycle had given ideas to some rogue and he started following me on the cycle. I regretted my decision. There was no one on the road to call for help. I cycled as fast as I could. It was now dark and large droplets started to fall. I took the blind curve and the banyan tree in front of me looked real scary with the branches whistling in the wind. With prayers on my lips, I cycled past the small mandir. As soon as I sped by, Baba came out and stood right on the road. The rogue was scared and retreated. I went home and related the incident.
“He knows you right from the days you were a small child”, Dad said
“Who is he?”, I asked
“ He was a Professor at the University. You might have heard Chaubey uncle refer to him as Guruji”
“Then….Why is he like this?”
“His family broke up. He could not take it”, replied Dad in a final voice.
I wanted to ask more but kept restraint.

There are still things I never knew.

Mission 22

Mission: Shopping for a badminton racquet and partywear for the family
Time: to reach the shopping district by 7p.m
Hurdle: choc-a-bloc traffic at Christmas time
Distance to be covered: 8 kms
Vehicle: Verna
Team: Whole family- Parents, hubby, two kids and self
Weapons: Speed, Debit card

Unexpected problem: At 6.00p.m. No one is dressed. Kids have gone out to play. Father has gone for bhajan. Mother is complaining and no sign of Hubby.

Booom. The short temper is let loose. Lessons for mother to get the boys ready in time are dished out. Have a shower, change, go searching for boys. One found in the park nearby, another in the ground about 250 m away. Send them home back on the cycle, ask them to shower and dress as quickly as possible. I walk back to find elder wait for the lemonade to refresh him. Grandma is making it for him.
“You shameless fool. Didn’t I ask you to be ready at 6.pm? Do you want to go?”
“But… lemonade. Have to rest after play”
“How long did you play - half an hour? Scoot and take a shower”
“Now, where’s your dad?”
“Upstairs, getting ready’, volunteers mum.
“And my dad? Why did he have to go for the bhajan today?”
“ It’s OK. He will join us in the town”
“ OK . Call him”
“ I don’t know the number.”
“ You find yourself. It’s a shame you don’t know his number after all these years”

Mum puts on her specs and searches in the phonebook and she is unable to locate it for full 10 minutes. My last ounce of patience is disappearing fast.


We set out on Mission 22. Hubby dear sets the traffic laws. Overtake from left, almost kill the pedestrian, set rocket scientist to shame with precision driving ( read missing the buses and trucks by a micro millimeter). Thank goodness many buses have Gods images plastered on the rear side. So we sent our silent prayers to St. Antony, Jesus Christ, Lord Shiva, Ganesha, Sree Krishna, Virgin Mary and Allah as represented in the words from Quran. And some of them were in office and doing their jobs properly. We reached town in one piece with no dents.

Target 1: Sports goods store
Difficulty: On Main Road. No Parking space

Another rule made. Park in No Parking zone. Reason. No cops seen.
Enter shop. Elder son, boozy, starts selecting.
“Rush,” I say
“Yonex, is the preferred one,” says shop assistant
“OK . Buy Yonex. ”
“Ashwin has Ashway. His mom is a State player”
“Do you have Ashway? ”
“Yes. Two qualities – lower end and highest end. ”
“Show lower end”
A not so inspiring piece is shown
“Buy Yonex”
“But…”
“Be fast. The clothes shop will close. ”
“But…”
He inspects both.
“Take yonex”
“OK”, he agrees with a face that’s already changing.

I look around for hubby. Nowhere to be seen.
I pay by debit card and…
Son to shop assistant, “Can I have a complete cover for the racquet?”
“ This model comes with cover for the top portion only”

Dissatisfied, he walks out of shop with the Yonex racquet.
Don’t make a long face now. Now you have a new racquet, play well and win some championships. ”
“What? With this bat?”
“Why not? Try.”

Find hubby on pavement outside with parents. Dad had walked about 1 km to reach us, looks land smells like just out of a workout. I shake my head. And we rush to the garment store. One saree and one dress for younger fellow, bumbum selected and the elder son still has long face.

“Now what? Why are sitting there with that expression?”
“I want Ashway.”
“OK. Go and change it then. Take your dad along.”
Both leave. Two minutes later, phone rings.

“Is the key there on the chair where I was? ”, asks hubby
“What, Iam now on second floor? You lost the key? Why do you need it? ”
“The racquet is in the boot.”
“Splendid. Let me get to the third floor.”
Just one flight of steps. I huff and puff up. Ask parents to stay on second floor and leave bumbum with them. Phone rings.
“Its Ok. I have it.”
Two minutes later, another call
“Why did you pay with card? They have a problem.”
“Stay there. I’m coming.”

At shop, roly poly manager is noncooperative. Given reason- can’t reverse a card payment. Real Reason- has to return money
“But it’s a debit card, not a credit card.”
“The amount is not yet credited to my account.”
“But its already gone from mine. It will go to yours”
“How can I be sure?”
“Sure? It a debit card. What’ll happen if you never get paid from some credit transaction?”
“I’ll take it up with bank.”

“OK. When will this be credited to your account?”, asks hubby
“In 8 hours”
“Ok give me in writing. I’ll collect it tomorrow.”

Roly poly is shaking in anger. Elder son Boozy’s face is expressionless. He is examining the new racquet. Shop assistant is checking time. He wants to go home.

Roly poly writes and passes it. Long face boozy changes to normal boozy.
“Why don’t you keep some cash in your bag? Using a card for such small payments.”, complains hubby
“Why can’t you be where I am shopping? Just stop playing chauffer. You drive us to town and disappear at shop. Stay with the family. Always interested in phone calls.”

And it goes on….

Cochin a.k.a Kochi a.k.a Ernakulam

Most tourists face the problem. What is the place really called? You fly into Kochi, the airport is called Cochin International Airport. Your Tour operator welcomes you to Cochin and takes you to a hotel in Ernakulam. You arrive by train at Ernakulam Town or Ernakulam Junction when you visit Cochin. The main old quarter of the town is called Fort Kochi. If you take a bus from somewhere to cochin, the destination must read Ernakulam , if you want to reach the city. There are no buses with Cochin as destination. You might get on one to Fort Kochi, though. And if you don’t know the Malayalam alphabet, you’re done for. Few carry English sign boards. And if want the postal address of a friend you made while here, you might get an address like: Mr. xyz, Abc villa, Palarivattom, Ernakulam Dist, Kerala. Pin Kochi- 682032

Well, I have been living in Cochin a.k.a Kochi a.k.a Ernakulam with a postal address similar to above and shopping in Ernakulam town for the last 12 years. I never understood it. When my friends outside the state call, I invite them to Cochin while the relatives in Kerala are invited to Ernakulam.

There is some cross wiring in our heads, somewhere, I am sure. Hope no short circuit happens.